Noticed a couple of weeks ago that Costco has the compost bin thingamabobs available again. I also got a nice little food scrap compost thingy a bit back. I was putting stuff in it for the time I got the compost bin. I took a tad too long to buy the bin.
Don't. Ever. Do. That.
The stank was beyond anything I have ever produced on my own. Old rotting vegetables do not have the aroma you would like. Shoving dog shit up my nose holes would have been a more pleasant experience.
Anywho, today I decide to get one if it fits in the new car. I take measurements and make sure that I do not write them down since my mind is like a freaking funnel! Anything that goes in will eventually get out. So, I head down to Costco and notice that the box they come in is unusually small. No measurement memory required! Hmm. Must be a bit of assembly required. No worries! I got this shit!
After pushing the thing around Costco in the cart and praying that some shithead kid will stop in front of the cart since the giant box blocks all forward view, I make it to the checkout without once having the simple pleasure of a crying child.
I load the thing in the car and it barely fits. I toss in the jalapeno cheddar sausages and head home!
Once home I remove the box that somehow gained several pounds and start the construction. Cut the plastic thingies. Remove all of the nuts, bolts, plastic shit, metal poles, panels, stuff. I find the English part of the manual and start the work.
Bolt, twist, screw, hammer, huh?, whatthefuckisthat?, screw, flip, turn, read again, hammer hammer hammer, fit you fucking plastic fuck, drop bolt, drop screw, confusion, nope, unscrew, screw, bolt, unbolt, manual, whowrotethisshit?, ouch, flip over, flip back over, fucking wind, water, read, whodecidedtobuythisfuckingthing?, sonofabitch!, maybe the old one isn't so bad, persevere!, didn't say anything about two people, howthefuck?, what time is it?, I need to be shorter so I don't have to bend over so damn much, chiropractor needed, screw, bolt, hope I have some beer in the fridge, flip, bolt, jiggle bolt, jiggle bolt, fucking jiggle you piece of shit and fit in the god damn hole!, yup...beer.
After what I think was 3 hours, the fucking thing is done. I get Mitzi to help carry to its final resting place, dump the shit from the old one in, and crawl to the couch.
That thing better make mulch that will grow some damn Avatar looking shit.
