Everyone knows that I am not fan of project managers. There have been a few that I have been able to tolerate, but overall I would rather stabby stabby them in the eyeballs.
The following is a paraphrased version of an email exchange with a project manager.
PM: Can you make a VPN for the client.
Me: There really isn't any information in the ticket.
PM: Here is their information.
Me: How about our side?
PM: Don't you have that?
Me: Uh. No. I don't know which of the 50 different environments they want to connect to.
PM: I asked someone else and they gave me this information.
Me: OK. I can make a VPN with that.
PM: Can you fill out their form.
Me: You have both sides of the information.
PM: Can you fill out their form.
Me: You want me to take our form, copy our information, paste it into their form?
PM: Yes.
Me: Uhm. Ok. Here. I literally pressed CTRL-C while highlighting our information, switched to their form, and pressed CTRL-V.
PM: .
Me: Can you or the client fill out our form?
PM: Can't you do that?
Me: Mother. Fuck.
I really think that the requirements for project managers is:
1.) Do you know what email is?
2.) If you answered yes to 1, do you know how to forward an email?
3.) Do you require assistance with breathing, eating, drinking water, wiping of the ass?
4.) If you answered yes to 4, we can accommodate that with one of our engineers.
