As I may have mentioned in previous postings, my asshole cat, Poopsqueek, likes to wake me up every day at around 5am so he can go outside to relieve himself and sleep on the pavement. Yesterday I heard the meowing and scratching again. It was unusually dark when he started this. A quick check shows that it was 3am. I throw a pillow at him and doze off to blissful sleep.
That morning I wake up and notice he is somewhat lethargic and overly sweet. He is usually a spaztic asshole at this point in the morning. I go about my day normally and notice on occasion that he is just not acting normally. Around 9:30pm I settle down for the night on the couch to watch me some Daily Show. Poopsqueek is acting cute in his cat climbering thingymabob. I pick him up and squeeze him as usual. He screams like a gut shot whore as he always does. I sit down, put him on my lap, and proceed to pet him.
Suddenly I feel my legs getting a tad warm. Hmm. What is this strange moist warmth? Damn cat peed on my lap. I hop up, carry him to the back door, plop him outside. I shower and head to the couch. Hmm. What are these pink droplets on the floor.
Today I wake up to take Poopsqueek to the vet. Whine whine meow meow whine hiss hiss whine meow. Twenty minutes later I am at the vet. Vet squeezes the cat and there is the blood again.
So, damn cat is apparently too fat, eats too much, has a fucked up PH balance, all blood stuff tests are fucked, and has crystals in his bladder. He how has to take antibiotics, prescription cat food, and lose weight.
I will miss his chubbiness.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Hans and the house keys
Yesterday I was driving home and heard a commercial talking about HVAC and they mentioned that you must change your filter. Oops. I decided that I must go get a new filter for my HVAC. A quick trip to Home Depot and filter is in the car, in the house, in the HVAC. I then realize that I must run another errand. I grab my wallet, grab my phone, grab myself, hop out the door to go to my car, pull the door closed...
Motherbitchfuckerballgoddamnit! Keys are still inside the house.
It is now starting to get windy. The temperature is hovering in the 90s. Humidity is approaching sauna levels.
A quick call to Mitzi at work and she says that she will leave early to let me in. "I will leave in about 20 minutes after I finish eating." *sigh*
Fast forward to bedtime. I pass out but am awakened by Hans adjusting his sleep spot. Seems Mitzi is still up and decided that Hans and I can snore together. That dog can put me to shame on occasion. Anywho, I waddle to the restroom, then head out to say hi to Mitzi. At this point Hans has woken up and noticed that he is alone...so so very alone. I hear a whine, a jingling of his collar, feet walking around on the bed. A minute later it sounds like there are half a dozen dogs having some sort of kinky sex orgy on the bed as Hans tries to figure out if he will survive the drop to the floor to make sure that we have not deserted him for a new family.
I wander back in the room, see a dog that seems to have survived some near death experience, slither back into bed. Hans is quite traumatized and decides that wedging his butt into my armpit is the only way he will feel safe. I allow the snuggling, settle into my pillows, begin the process of sleeping.
A few minutes later I hear something. It isn't loud. It was quite brief. My best attempt at spelling out the sound would be something along the lines of "pfffff". Fucking dog farted in my armpit.
Hans slept on the far corner of the bed for the rest of the night.
Motherbitchfuckerballgoddamnit! Keys are still inside the house.
It is now starting to get windy. The temperature is hovering in the 90s. Humidity is approaching sauna levels.
A quick call to Mitzi at work and she says that she will leave early to let me in. "I will leave in about 20 minutes after I finish eating." *sigh*
Fast forward to bedtime. I pass out but am awakened by Hans adjusting his sleep spot. Seems Mitzi is still up and decided that Hans and I can snore together. That dog can put me to shame on occasion. Anywho, I waddle to the restroom, then head out to say hi to Mitzi. At this point Hans has woken up and noticed that he is alone...so so very alone. I hear a whine, a jingling of his collar, feet walking around on the bed. A minute later it sounds like there are half a dozen dogs having some sort of kinky sex orgy on the bed as Hans tries to figure out if he will survive the drop to the floor to make sure that we have not deserted him for a new family.
I wander back in the room, see a dog that seems to have survived some near death experience, slither back into bed. Hans is quite traumatized and decides that wedging his butt into my armpit is the only way he will feel safe. I allow the snuggling, settle into my pillows, begin the process of sleeping.
A few minutes later I hear something. It isn't loud. It was quite brief. My best attempt at spelling out the sound would be something along the lines of "pfffff". Fucking dog farted in my armpit.
Hans slept on the far corner of the bed for the rest of the night.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
No more unsupervised home improvements
This weekend there is a possible plan to proceed with some home improvements. Based on previous projects involving power tools, normal tools, and my skin...there is a very good chance of injury. Thinking about the possibility of another emergency room visit, I thought that I could detail my life and the injuries that I have inflicted upon myself.
As a child I was a tad top heavy...well...heavy all over during my toddler years. I tended to fall a lot. I have had quite an amount of needles sewing up gashes in my skull. One that I remember well was the "run home quickly" fall. I can still see the threshold of the door racing at my face immediately after tripping on the cement stair. I can call to mind the images of the needle approaching my forehead to sew up yet another open wound on my cranium.
There were plenty of other injuries. I have had a gravel pit worth of rocks embedded in my hands. I still have a black spot on my leg from another incident. I was in school and tossed my backpack on the desk. For some strange reason it stopped sliding across the desk. I decided that a forceful nudge with my leg would solve the issue. Sadly, the eraser on a pencil under a book was wedged against the edge of the desk. The other end of the pencil...the really pointy side...was at the bottom of the backpack patiently awaiting my leg. Not sure how far it embedded into my flesh, but far enough to leave a graphite tattoo.
Over the years I was able to smash my finger between a box of liquor travelling down some rollers and the steel beam they connected to. I ripped off a few finger and toe nails. I fell off a swing that unhooked at the top and opened a floodgate of blood on the back of my head. I can't count the amount of times that I sliced parts of my body with box cutters. I popped my knee out of the socket lifting a gallon of milk out of the back of my car. Five cracked ribs from snowboarding. Two cracked ribs caused by a bear hug from a giant Mexican.
Amazingly I have never actually broken a bone that required a cast.
So, fast forward to my years of home improvements. A while ago we decided to finally replace the stove/oven thing that was made in the 50s. This required me to put in a cupboard above the new stove. I bought the thing, cut a hole in it for the vent, got it on the wall, screwed it in, put on the doors, it was awesome. I then realized that it required knobs. I got my trusty drill and some knobs and went to work. I measured where the knobs would be put and proceeded to drill the hole. Now, when you are drilling a hole in a piece of wood, you should make sure that the hand you are holding the piece of wood is not located directly on the other side of the drill bit.
They said I didn't hit the bone in my finger.
This next one wasn't done at home, but I found I am able to injure myself with anything you find around the house and office. I was trying to shape some foam packing for a router I needed to ship. I almost had it cut to just the right size but still needed a little bit more taken off. I was slicing through the last part of the foam with the scissors. Now, when you are slicing through things with anything sharp, slice AWAY from your body.
After I squirted blood all over the office carpet and everyone in the office drove me to the emergency room, I ended up with five stitches in my wrist and some loss of feeling in my thumb.
One day I decided to replace the carpet in my basement and put in some wood laminate flooring. The install went well. I got all the flooring in and proceeded to work on the trim. I was working on the last piece which required some cuts that required the jigsaw. I got the first couple of cuts in just right and had one last one to go.
Remember the drillbit in the finger. Yeah...same finger. They said I missed the bone again.
Hopefully, for me, nothing will go wrong with the closet organizer and door install. Sadly, most people I know are looking forward to hearing about another emergency room visit.
As a child I was a tad top heavy...well...heavy all over during my toddler years. I tended to fall a lot. I have had quite an amount of needles sewing up gashes in my skull. One that I remember well was the "run home quickly" fall. I can still see the threshold of the door racing at my face immediately after tripping on the cement stair. I can call to mind the images of the needle approaching my forehead to sew up yet another open wound on my cranium.
There were plenty of other injuries. I have had a gravel pit worth of rocks embedded in my hands. I still have a black spot on my leg from another incident. I was in school and tossed my backpack on the desk. For some strange reason it stopped sliding across the desk. I decided that a forceful nudge with my leg would solve the issue. Sadly, the eraser on a pencil under a book was wedged against the edge of the desk. The other end of the pencil...the really pointy side...was at the bottom of the backpack patiently awaiting my leg. Not sure how far it embedded into my flesh, but far enough to leave a graphite tattoo.
Over the years I was able to smash my finger between a box of liquor travelling down some rollers and the steel beam they connected to. I ripped off a few finger and toe nails. I fell off a swing that unhooked at the top and opened a floodgate of blood on the back of my head. I can't count the amount of times that I sliced parts of my body with box cutters. I popped my knee out of the socket lifting a gallon of milk out of the back of my car. Five cracked ribs from snowboarding. Two cracked ribs caused by a bear hug from a giant Mexican.
Amazingly I have never actually broken a bone that required a cast.
So, fast forward to my years of home improvements. A while ago we decided to finally replace the stove/oven thing that was made in the 50s. This required me to put in a cupboard above the new stove. I bought the thing, cut a hole in it for the vent, got it on the wall, screwed it in, put on the doors, it was awesome. I then realized that it required knobs. I got my trusty drill and some knobs and went to work. I measured where the knobs would be put and proceeded to drill the hole. Now, when you are drilling a hole in a piece of wood, you should make sure that the hand you are holding the piece of wood is not located directly on the other side of the drill bit.
They said I didn't hit the bone in my finger.
This next one wasn't done at home, but I found I am able to injure myself with anything you find around the house and office. I was trying to shape some foam packing for a router I needed to ship. I almost had it cut to just the right size but still needed a little bit more taken off. I was slicing through the last part of the foam with the scissors. Now, when you are slicing through things with anything sharp, slice AWAY from your body.
After I squirted blood all over the office carpet and everyone in the office drove me to the emergency room, I ended up with five stitches in my wrist and some loss of feeling in my thumb.
One day I decided to replace the carpet in my basement and put in some wood laminate flooring. The install went well. I got all the flooring in and proceeded to work on the trim. I was working on the last piece which required some cuts that required the jigsaw. I got the first couple of cuts in just right and had one last one to go.
Remember the drillbit in the finger. Yeah...same finger. They said I missed the bone again.
Hopefully, for me, nothing will go wrong with the closet organizer and door install. Sadly, most people I know are looking forward to hearing about another emergency room visit.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Raspberry Pi
So, I finally received my Raspberry Pi that Jason ordered for me. The one I ordered will be here in 12 weeks. Anywho, I excitedly grabbed my HDMI cable, found an 8gb SD card, borrowed Jason's wireless keyboard (which I replaced later along with getting a 32gb card), and proceeded to geek out.
First step was getting the image for the OS. I listened to the suggestion and grabbed the Debian image. Hmm...how do I get this on the card. TO TEH GOOGLE! Ah, I see...I have to download a program that will image the card. Complete!
Plug card into the PI and boot up. Success! Found the login on the site and I am at a prompt. Hmm...what is the root password? TO TEH GOOGLE!
Root password "changed"! There actually wasn't a root password.
"apt-get update"! Hmm...not enough space on my disk. TO TEH GOOGLE! Another site explains how to fill up the SD card since the image creates a tiny drive. Easy enough!
What the fuck!?
printf "d\n3\nd\n2\nn\np\n2\n157696\n\nw\n" |sudo fdisk -cu /dev/mmcblk0
sudo shutdown -r now
And then:
sudo resize2fs /dev/mmcblk0p2
Complete!
Create my username! I actually know that one! Complete!
startx
Hmm. Not too fond of the xwindows version. I shall try full fledged Gnome!
apt-get install gnome
Pages and pages of scrolly stuff saying it will install everything including the kitchen sink from the house I grew up in. Wait a while. Wait more. Notice it is stuck on some gconf2 thingy. Hmm. Doesn't appear to want to finish. Oh...there is the error. Not finished. Well, I shall install things I know.
apt-get install vim
gconf2 error
apt-get install emacs
Hmm...gconf2 yet again. It appears that the Gnome thing fucked up gconf2 and everything in the fucking world requires it to be installed correctly! New IMAGE!
First step.
Second step.
Third step.
Skip gnome.
At this point I can't remember what I did to screw it up again, but I did. NEW IMAGE!
Damnit. Screwed it up again. NEW IMAGE!
I decide I want Spotify. That goes about as smoothly as the nutsack on a chainsaw. NEW IMAGE!
I shall try to use Synaptic to get Spotify working. NEW IMAGE!
Decide to try Arch Linux. Create image, plug in card, type some shit, I have no idea what this shit is, power off, remove card, plug in Debian.
The Raspberry Pi is currently back in the static bag. I needed the charge cable for my phone upgrade. The phone upgrade that went ever-so-slightly smoother than the Raspberry Pi fiddling.
I have come to the conclusion that Linux geeks are assholes and they hate everyone. They tell everyone that they use Linux...like, incessantly....all the time. They tell everyone how much better it is. They explain how much Microsoft and Apple suck. They make Apple fanboys look like "meh?". They gloat about "open source", GNU, command line, rebuilding this and that, never rebooting, running Linux on a circuit board powered by potatos, how everything cool is based on Linux including electricity, the time-space continuum, Higgs-Boson, and where babies come from. However, they make it nearly impossible for anyone to actually use the shit. Dependencies, recompiling, make, make install, new kernel, wrong kernel, repositories, edit this file and that file, source, free, non-free, su, sudo, grep, fuck, shit, damn, hell, piss.
I will get around to it another day. For now, the Raspberry Pi shall remain in the bag. I just want to click on icons for a while.
First step was getting the image for the OS. I listened to the suggestion and grabbed the Debian image. Hmm...how do I get this on the card. TO TEH GOOGLE! Ah, I see...I have to download a program that will image the card. Complete!
Plug card into the PI and boot up. Success! Found the login on the site and I am at a prompt. Hmm...what is the root password? TO TEH GOOGLE!
Root password "changed"! There actually wasn't a root password.
"apt-get update"! Hmm...not enough space on my disk. TO TEH GOOGLE! Another site explains how to fill up the SD card since the image creates a tiny drive. Easy enough!
What the fuck!?
printf "d\n3\nd\n2\nn\np\n2\n157696\n\nw\n" |sudo fdisk -cu /dev/mmcblk0
sudo shutdown -r now
And then:
sudo resize2fs /dev/mmcblk0p2
Complete!
Create my username! I actually know that one! Complete!
startx
Hmm. Not too fond of the xwindows version. I shall try full fledged Gnome!
apt-get install gnome
Pages and pages of scrolly stuff saying it will install everything including the kitchen sink from the house I grew up in. Wait a while. Wait more. Notice it is stuck on some gconf2 thingy. Hmm. Doesn't appear to want to finish. Oh...there is the error. Not finished. Well, I shall install things I know.
apt-get install vim
gconf2 error
apt-get install emacs
Hmm...gconf2 yet again. It appears that the Gnome thing fucked up gconf2 and everything in the fucking world requires it to be installed correctly! New IMAGE!
First step.
Second step.
Third step.
Skip gnome.
At this point I can't remember what I did to screw it up again, but I did. NEW IMAGE!
Damnit. Screwed it up again. NEW IMAGE!
I decide I want Spotify. That goes about as smoothly as the nutsack on a chainsaw. NEW IMAGE!
I shall try to use Synaptic to get Spotify working. NEW IMAGE!
Decide to try Arch Linux. Create image, plug in card, type some shit, I have no idea what this shit is, power off, remove card, plug in Debian.
The Raspberry Pi is currently back in the static bag. I needed the charge cable for my phone upgrade. The phone upgrade that went ever-so-slightly smoother than the Raspberry Pi fiddling.
I have come to the conclusion that Linux geeks are assholes and they hate everyone. They tell everyone that they use Linux...like, incessantly....all the time. They tell everyone how much better it is. They explain how much Microsoft and Apple suck. They make Apple fanboys look like "meh?". They gloat about "open source", GNU, command line, rebuilding this and that, never rebooting, running Linux on a circuit board powered by potatos, how everything cool is based on Linux including electricity, the time-space continuum, Higgs-Boson, and where babies come from. However, they make it nearly impossible for anyone to actually use the shit. Dependencies, recompiling, make, make install, new kernel, wrong kernel, repositories, edit this file and that file, source, free, non-free, su, sudo, grep, fuck, shit, damn, hell, piss.
I will get around to it another day. For now, the Raspberry Pi shall remain in the bag. I just want to click on icons for a while.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Funtastic day
Oh what a fucktastic day.
Slither out of bed at 6:45am.
6:50am call from the "OMGEVERYTHINGISTEHBROKEDED!" people.
Read the emails to try and figure out what is teh brokeded.
See that our Manila and India teams are working on the stuff.
Get another call.
Get a "OMGJOINTEHBRIDGE!!"
Join bridge.
Put them on hold and call boss.
Talk for a bit.
Go back to bridge and tell them we are working on it.
Hang up.
Get another bridge number
Forward to teams working on it.
Get another bridge number.
Forward.
Get another bridge number.
Gee. What shall I do with forward.
Shit gets fixed.
Where is the RCA?
Forward.
NED RCA!
Forward.
A this point in the late morning I can finally consider that shower I was hoping to have. I realized that my daily butt massage has started from the construction that is going on in front of the house. They have a couple of pieces of machinery, but not much. I see that Jason's truck is parked in the street and may hinder their access to certain areas that they may need to be in. I wander outside and ask the guy working on the street "Do you want me to move that truck?" He rattles off, "Nah, we're good".
I head back inside to get my manscape and shower going. As I am happily scrubbing off, Hans starts barking. Thinking that he is just getting bitchslapped by the cat, I yell at him to shut the shit up. Bark bark bark bark. I finish up my shower, turn off the water, hear the thumping on my door. I rush to the door in my damn towel which exposes my chiseled ab and my amoeba hard moobs.
Motherbitchslackjawedyokle has now decided that the truck needs to be moved. I dry off, get dressed, move truck. They now have two dump trucks, some scoopy/bulldozer thing, a roadmaker thing, a steamroller, signs, pickup trucks, and a bunch of guys with shovels.
Fuck it. Fuck it in a Geo Metro.
Slither out of bed at 6:45am.
6:50am call from the "OMGEVERYTHINGISTEHBROKEDED!" people.
Read the emails to try and figure out what is teh brokeded.
See that our Manila and India teams are working on the stuff.
Get another call.
Get a "OMGJOINTEHBRIDGE!!"
Join bridge.
Put them on hold and call boss.
Talk for a bit.
Go back to bridge and tell them we are working on it.
Hang up.
Get another bridge number
Forward to teams working on it.
Get another bridge number.
Forward.
Get another bridge number.
Gee. What shall I do with forward.
Shit gets fixed.
Where is the RCA?
Forward.
NED RCA!
Forward.
A this point in the late morning I can finally consider that shower I was hoping to have. I realized that my daily butt massage has started from the construction that is going on in front of the house. They have a couple of pieces of machinery, but not much. I see that Jason's truck is parked in the street and may hinder their access to certain areas that they may need to be in. I wander outside and ask the guy working on the street "Do you want me to move that truck?" He rattles off, "Nah, we're good".
I head back inside to get my manscape and shower going. As I am happily scrubbing off, Hans starts barking. Thinking that he is just getting bitchslapped by the cat, I yell at him to shut the shit up. Bark bark bark bark. I finish up my shower, turn off the water, hear the thumping on my door. I rush to the door in my damn towel which exposes my chiseled ab and my amoeba hard moobs.
Motherbitchslackjawedyokle has now decided that the truck needs to be moved. I dry off, get dressed, move truck. They now have two dump trucks, some scoopy/bulldozer thing, a roadmaker thing, a steamroller, signs, pickup trucks, and a bunch of guys with shovels.
Fuck it. Fuck it in a Geo Metro.
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