The Zit is back

I have previously written about my Zit. He is an asshole. Pops up in the most inconvenient places just to annoy the shit outta me. Inner ear, nose, inner nose, forehead, lip, myfuckingarm!

Arm Zits. What. The. Fuck!? The little shit was the size of a damn grape.

Still, the worst is what I call the cluster zit. You see it...big...red....pain. You squeeze what you think is the puss ball and you notice puss and blood water coming out of areas that are not the puss hole! Even more annoying is the damn spot you can see the puss ball is just sitting there saying, "Fuck you, asshole! Those are my minions and you shall never savor my puss!"

I had the Zit as a blackhead on my lip for years. I would squeeze the shit outta him to force an inch long puss worm out of my face, only to have it show up a couple of months later. Once I finally got rid of him after years of squishing..painful, horrific, puppy killing pain...he showed up as a giant puss filled ball of goo on my face.

I eventually started using a cleanser that cleared up all zits on my face. I recently ran out. Zits appeared everywhere. Nose, ear, back of ear, neck. Quick trip to store and all but one cleared up. Little fucker just inside of my ear hole would not die.

Anywho, dealing with that shit of a zit in my ear that the cleanser did not reach was agonizing. Can't really clean the inner ear with cleanser. It was getting to the point where I had issues with headphones. Casual scrapes with my fingernails did not seem to be doing the trick. Finally, after a rigorous fingernailing, the thing seemed to start to go away. Rejoice! Today it is nearly gone. Only a remnant of the thing remains.

However, it seems I have angered the Zit.

Yesterday I wake up with a strange feeling in my eyeball. I go to a mirror and notice a redness in my right lower eyelid. I peel back my eyelid to see what this could be. I see a thing residing in my inner eye skin. While this can be referred to as a Stye, I know what the fuck it is. The fuckerhead Zit has taken residence in my eyeball! I know this is the truth because there is not a single zit on my craniumal area. There is always one. It may be a small red spot that will eventually go away. It may be a giant puss filled growth that Mitzi pleads to pop while chasing me with Kleenex wrapped around her fingers. There is ALWAYS one zit on my body somewhere.

Sadly, this little fucker on my eyeball is unpoppable. Warm compress and patience will prevail! The Zit will not win!

Only upside to this...

As long as he resides in my eyeball, my face will remain clear of baby zits.

Skin sucks shit balls.