Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Daily routine

Today I started the daily routine. I typically don't start so early on a Wednesday since I work at home, but I have to go to the office to let some guy in to test a circuit.

As I am going through the motions of cleaning myself in my morning shower, I start to think about my daily beautification routine and how any missed step can lead to disaster.

6am - Wake up
6:05 - Let cat out to go pee
6:07 - Make coffee
6:10 - Get first cup of coffee
6:15 - Let cat in to eat
6:25 - Let cat out to go poop
6:26 - Second cup of coffee
6:40 - Let cat in so he can sleep on bed and fuck with Hans
7 - Finish coffee
7 - 7:45 - Do work. Answer emails
8 - Shower
8:02 - Wash hair
8:05 - Wash face
8:07 - Wash body
8:10 - Shave
8:13 - Get dressed
8:15 - Lament my lack of coffee

Today I screwed up my routine. I was washing body and decided to scrub my entire back. As I was rinsing off, I noticed a complete lack of soap in certain areas. My decision to alter my routine nearly ended up in lightly rinsed body parts. Another time I put goop in my hair before deoderant. Left the house wondering why my pits felt funny.

I have also, in the past, screwed up other parts of the routine. Once I was too tired to "let cat out to go poop". He pee'd on the floor right behind me in protest.

I have decided that if anyone fucks with my routine, I will find out where you live, hunt you down, and pee on your floor.

No comments:

Post a Comment