So, last Saturday...not this one that just happened, but the one before...I decided to do a bit of cleaning around the house. At some point I decided that something under the bed needed to be moved. I laid down on the floor and made the mistake of having my right arm tucked under my body as I used my left arm for reaching.
After a few seconds of reaching for stuff, I hear and feel this loud pop. This pop seems to be emanating from my right rib area. Suddenly a cavalcade of pain encompasses my torso and I think I let out a little squeak. It would have probably been a bigger squeak had it not been for the excruciating agony that my ribs were now introducing to my body.
Anywho, cleaning was now complete! I suffered through the day by finding a comfy position on my couch and used liquid pain killers to dull the shattered ribs.
Coughing...holy shit monkeys.
Poopin' and peein'...I will never eat or drink again.
Lifting anything...it can stay where it is.
Monday was work. Made it through most of the day, but headed back to couch land early.
Tuesday was work at home, so I was able to suffer through it a tad better, but the couch was my friend.
Wednesday I was searching teh intarwebs for home rib-ectomy procedures, but decided to call the doctor instead. Sunofaonvacation!
Thankfully, my umpteenth visit to Instacare was better. Seems not many people decide to injure themselves on Wednesday, so I got in quick. Suffered through the nurse and doctor giggles regarding me injuring myself by laying on the floor. X-rays show nothing broked. Got my meds and headed home to blissful doping.
Friday...oh god, Friday. Hans decided he was Humpasaurus Rex and went to town on his teddy bears. I was too doped up to notice. Wake up Saturday to Hans looking and acting like me. Seems he threw out his back with his love making session. He tried to bark but it hurt too much. He couldn't lift his head to look up. Cried each time he had to move. Teddy bears will now be locked up when he gets that sparkle in his eye. We both used the couch for our recovery.
Saturday...decided that I would accompany Jason on a search for his fridge and I would get my closet doors while out. Forgot to take pain killers. This wouldn't have been a bad idea had it not been for the mode of transportation. Pickup trucks and a shattered rib cage do not mix well. As my body tensed and contorted to prevent my ribs from crunching against each other as Jason seemed to locate each and every bump on the road, my entire body started to hurt. Quick trip back to the house and a Lortab later and I was a rambling giddy mess of a human being.
So...floors can kill. They are dangerous, evil, rib shattering hellspawn.
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