Washed the car today

Decided to wash, wax, clean the car today.

Started out ok.
Car washed.
Wheels took some elbow grease.
Wheels took some more elbow grease.
Grease is starting to gunk up.
Clean my cataract clouded headlights.
Rub on goop.
Buff.
Sand.
Sand with different shit.
Sand with another different shit.
Fucking hell..two more different shits!?
Wipe and rub on more goop.
Take break.
Fuck...I have two headlights!
Take break.
Move car onto lawn under shade tree.
Wax.
Wax more...
Waxing done.
Take break
Buff.
Good hell what is that smell?
Buffing more.
Fucking dog shits everywhere!
My arms are very jiggly with the electric waxy buffy thing.
More buffing.
Need to rake up dog shits someday.
I can't feel my hands.
Maybe next year I will rake.
Buffing done.
Clean windows.
Did my arms get shorter?
I can't feel my legs.
Mommy?!

Beer and tequila seem to be numbing the pain. I need to hide Mitzi's car. She wants to wash hers.

Theory and Practice

We have processes at work for things. How to open a trouble ticket. How to submit a request. Ya know...a process documented and approved by some standards committee somewhere.

The Process in Theory:
Make sure NOC sees the circuit outage.
NOC opens ticket with carrier.
Circuit comes up.
NOC: Carrier fucked up. All fixed. RCA incoming.
Some guy: Sweet.

The Process in Reality:
Some guy: hOLY FUCK! A circuit is down!!!
Another guy: ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?
Some guy: CALL EVEREYONE!
Another guy: OK! Who do I call?!
Some guy: EVEYERYONME!
Another guy: Got it!
That guy: I will send out an email!
Some guy: Copy everyone! Add your entire address book! Randomly pick people! Just copy everyone!
That guy: Will do!
Some guy: And in the email...Freak the fuck out! Tell them the entire planet is down~!
That guy: I will freak the fuck out!
Another guy: Is there a bridge opened!?@?#!
Some guy: Holy fuck! I forgot a bridge! Send out a bridge invite and include everyone!
NOC: We are looking at it. Pro-active ticket opened already.
Some guy: WHY IS IT NOT FIXEDED!?!?
NOC: We are looking at it.
Some guy: Holy shit balls! Start messaging ever4yone!
That guy: On it.
Some guy: Start calling all of the bosses! Email them! Be sure to freak tthe fuck out!
Another guy: OK!
NOC Circuit is back up. RCA incoming.
Some guy: Sweet.