A New Cereal

As all of you may remember, I recently had an interesting experience with a cereal that shall be forever known as Kashi GoShit. We did send that giganormous box of cereal to the land of the dumpster so seagulls may snack on it and hopefully explode as they divebomb someone's picnic.

Anywho, we made our way to Costco to try out a different cereal. 

It didn't go as planned.

This time we saw "Abundance Blueberry-Pomegranate Oat Cluster Crunch". Goodness gracious, that sounds tasty! All natural! No HFCS! Grains and shit! Fruits! Holy shit in a handbasket, I am buying this box!

I had a giant bowl yesterday due to yet another "fuckiforgottoeat" hypoglycemic pre-attack. This type of attack is where you kind of feel fuzzy in the head, your tummy gets kinda wiggly, and your skin starts to form tiny beads of sweat. Not a full out attack where you would literally eat the cardboard from a homeless person's bed, but close. So, I had this bowl of cereal in the late morning and continued on with my day thinking that I had consumed something healthy and tasty. My gums were not bleeding and I didn't feel like a dead cow on the side of the road in Close Encounters. All was great!

Or so I thought.

The rumblings started later that evening. Another horrid visit to the room of doom and I thought I was going to be OK.

Now, the Kashi GoShit was a horrid butt-trumpet of hell leading up to the dysentery. This stuff was the opposite. No warning about the rocket fueled explosion, just happened. This morning I wake up and I get the other half. It was like a baking soda and vinegar enema. After each one I am thinking "how the hell big is my intestinal capacity for this symphony of gas?!" After a while my thoughts were "what the hell?", "good god", "wow", "are you fucking kidding me?", "please let that be the last", and "I sure hope there wasn't any luggage in that one".

I have come to the realization that I should stick to what I know. Grease, McDonalds, microwaved, processed, or anything else as long it does not brag about how natural it is. If I want natural, I will buy some damn organic vegetables.

Asshole cat is having issues. He got in a fight a few days ago and hurt his butt area or something since he doesn't like it when you hold him. He seems to have found a new friend. Some scraggly white cat likes to sit outside with him. Asshole cat seems to be getting better. He let Gloria clean his noggin. Gloria would clean a piece of poop if you pet her with it.